Public Enemy Nos. 1 & 2

Yeah thats right, you are both very sorry for your comments earlier today, but it won't save you the embarrassment of  questioning one of the greatest people of all times. You can't hide anymore.

If there is one thing we know, it is that there is a lot of hated scum that Philadelphia holds dear in their hearts. Whether it is Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowgirls, JD Drew and any team he is on, or the always-taunted scumbag Sean Avery (who gets booed everywhere, even in New York), here in the City of Brotherly Love we have a laundry list of enemies that get special treatment when we’re in town. There are a ton of players who are actually good overall people, they just dominated us in a playoff series or special instance, like Joe Carter or Troy Aikman, who we wrongfully dislike anyway. But after today, in our eyes, there are two new enemies on the list of Philly’s Most Wanted. We would like to nominate Terry Collins and Mike Pelfrey as all-time scum on the list.

Here at Continued Success, it is easy to see that we love the man, the myth, the legend, Gary “Sarge” Matthews, and when you mess with Sarge, you mess with this blog, and Philadelphia Phillies’ fans of all ages. Older men loved him as a player and younger fans love him as an amazing color analyst on Phillies’ broadcasts. So when you come out publicly and talk out against him, we are going to come after you in every way possible. We’d like to know who the hell Mike Pelfrey and Terry Collins think they are… Well first, in case you didn’t previously see it, lets tell you what actually happened.

Today, in the sixth inning, Placido Polanco smartly leaned in on a 3-2 pitch, got hit, and took his rightful place on first base. While this was happening, Pelfrey thought more about how awful he is as a pitcher, got angry, and told Polly not to lean into the pitch. While this was going on, he cried a little bit and we are pretty sure he wet himself. During this period, Sarge also rightfully commented on the Mets and their season in general by saying:

"That’s the way you’re supposed to be going into the ball.That’s why these guys lose, anyway though. They’re a bunch of crybabies, most of them. They really are."

This is again great commentary, beautifully worded and what expert analysis from a real professional. After the game, the guilty party, Mike Pelfrey, and the half-wit boss of that little weasel, Terry Collins, both decided to comment on our hero. Collins came out and said, “I don’t give a (expletive) what he says.” Also, he added in “That’s his opinion, he doesn’t know.” The oversized woman, Michelle Pelfrey, had this to say, “I don’t care. I don’t even know who that is so I don’t care.” So as you can see by these comments, these two men just rose to the top of our shit list, and we encourage all of you to take these two in the same manner, as we are public enemies No. 1 and No. 2.

So now back to what we were getting to earlier... Let’s break this down for a second… Hey Terry, Michelle, how many All-Star appearances have you had in the MLB? Oh really? Interesting. Hey Michelle, ever won a ROY award in MLB? How about being an NLCS MVP? Oh really, none of them either? That’s weird. Terry, ever been a coach on a playoff team? No way! You never finished better than second place on any team you coached and your Mets are currently 4^th in the NL East and 22.5 GAMES BACK OF THE PHILS. Yeah, but you have a lot of notoriety compared to Sarge. Oh, and Pelfrey, you have a huge accomplishment too. According to Wikipedia, your ONLY accomplishment is being the Mets pitcher who faced the most consecutive batters (243) without giving up a homerun. That’s amazing, can you sign this roll of toilet paper for me? Sarge only has one All-Star appearance, an NL ROY award winner, a 1983 NLCS MVP, and was a coach on numerous playoff teams with the Cubs. So who do you respect more, the amazing Gary Nathaniel Matthews Sr, or Terry Collins/Michelle Pelfrey? Yeah, that’s what we thought.

You are absolutely magnificent. Who styles your mustache?

In closing, go to hell Terry Collins and Mike Pelfrey, we hope you both lose your jobs and are forced to work as McDonald’s most special mascots for the rest of your miserable lives.