OK… It has come to our attention over the last few nights that something is wrong with our beloved Sarge. We have noticed on two occasions now (Monday with Shane-0 and Tonight with Clifton Phifer) that Sarge has neglected to wish them continued success…
BREATHE.
We have a couple reasons we feel this may be happening and none of them are good nor do they put us at ease.
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND: AT THIS POINT, THIS IS ALL JUST SPECULATION.
1. Maybe Sarge really just wasn’t that impressed and felt that a ‘continued success…’ wasn’t warranted. Shane’s performance we can understand. Shane’s great and we love him, but it wasn’t anything awe-inspiring. But Clifton Phifer’s performance tonight was incredibly Cliff-like, which needless to say was phenomenal. The man has now completed two months in a single season in which he has an ERA under 1.00. Believe us – this hasn’t happened many times. So, this can’t be it.
2. He’s mad at the Phillies and really doesn’t want them to continue to succeed? This doesn’t even fit into the aura of what makes Sarge… Sarge. If you didn’t read our first ever post, please refresh your memory – the man embodies the entire city – he loves us, and us – him. This isn’t the right reason so get it out of your head.
3. Sarge could be sick… Wow… let’s hope not, but it’s possible. If he is, our thought is that Wheels poisoned him because of his rapidly increasing popularity. It is also probably because of the petition we’ve secretly started to have Sarge sit with T-Mac for 9 whole innings (No more of this Wheels crap). Great question that we want to pose to the Phillies’ Organization: Why have Sarge for only 3 innings when you could have him for 9? (We know – it’s a rhetorical question)News flash for Wheels: Sarge is a lot like Wolverine from X-Men. The man is indestructible. Nice try, Wheels.
So, no need to worry – the only possible explanation is a sickness, but Sarge’s incredible immune system will take care of it soon.
SAFE TRAVELS, SARGE. YOU’RE IN OUR THOUGHTS.
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