A Note from Ruben...

Dear Philadelphia,

It is I, your once beloved, and often talked about, General Manager Ruben Amaro Junior. I have been with all of you for a while now, from highly touted prospect to major league stud to assistant GM and protégé of the Legend Pat Gillick. And here we are now. Where are we now you may ask? That’s a good question.

Up until about 2 weeks ago, I thought I was the toast of the city. I am the man who brought you almost everything that you people could have ever wanted.

You wanted the surgeon from Canada, and I brought you the man they call “Doc”.

You wanted the fun loving Cleveland kid with an attitude of gold, and I gave you Clifton Phifer.

“Oh no! We need more offense!” Boom, I give you the kid who loves post game eats, Hunter Pence.

The gap between Jimmy and I was not only between his teeth, but also between money and years of a contract. Yet, I closed the gap not only between his teeth (Liquid concrete did the trick), but also got the deal done.

Fast forward about 6 months, and we have our current state. You all look at me like some high school boy who wouldn’t know the difference between a 5 year, $40 million deal, and one of those damn Algebra problems about which train is going to get to some fictional stop before the other one does.

Well, I have some news for you. Not only do I know how to make the big deal, but I know how to answer that idiotic Algebra problem too. The answer: I don’t give a shit which train gets their first, because they are both going to Philadelphia and they both have some high price talent that I bring in while staying under the luxury tax.

You can all be mad at me as much as you want, but quite frankly, I don’t care. All I have done is what you ask and now, I can’t foresee lingering injuries to our major stars, and I am a pariah? I know I should be Ms. Cleo, but because I refuse to wear that awful psychic wrap on my head, I can’t see into the future. I mean with this hair would you wear anything on your head?

I put together an amazing bench behind our cast of talent that included some major power and some good matchup type hitters. Also, I brought in some good competition, which Charlie and I always believe drives performance. Injuries are one of those things that no one can predict, and even if I could, I have no more minor league pieces to trade. If you want to know why, see above. Also, because Big Bill Giles is riding me to make sure I don’t go over the luxury tax, I couldn’t sign anybody worthwhile in free agency anyway.

All I have to say to all of you Philadelphia is take a pill or start watching the Sixers, the bar is set much lower there. I have done all I can to help improve this club and it is just Spring Training, we haven’t even given this team a chance yet. We still have 3 starting pitchers who are capable of compiling 60+ wins, and then add in the solid 15 wins Joe Blanton is going to get us, and we are already right there (I know what you are thinking and yes, I am kidding about the Blanton total, I actually expect 20 wins from him also). The offense may not be the dynamo it has been in the past, but if Jimmy and Shane stay healthy, there is no reason we can’t produce enough runs to get the wins we need. And don’t forget, I am the magic man at the trade deadline so it is completely possible I can add one more piece at the end depending on what we need.

Before you start throwing beer on my car and calling for my head, remember I still have done more than any other GM has done for this team in years (unless you count Ed Wade as a member of the Astros). Be a fan, don’t be a critic, and trust in the lineup that we have. In time, all wounds will heal and if we can stay competitive until everyone comes back, we will be fine for the playoffs. We have a target on our back for a reason, we are still number ones in everyone’s’ minds.

If you don’t like what I am saying, go to CBP South and stay there.

Love always,

Ruben Amaro Jr.

Philadelphia 1 - New York 1

On a showdown day when Philadelphia was pinned against its old buddy New York, the games were split 1-1. The Phillies ended their 8 game nauseating skid with a nice 9-4 win over Mike Pelfrey (the crybaby) and an Eagles’ full out collapse versus the New York Giants losing 29-16. We can take a quick look at each of these games.

Phillies 9   Mets 4

The Phanatic wins again. What a character.

This game was an overall great sign for the Phillies in what could be the exact lineup in Game 1 of the NLDS. The offense was put together and seemed to click on all cylinders with Hunter Pence in the 3 hole and Victorino giving Howard some protection in the number 5 spot. Obviously with the 9 runs everything seemed to be smooth. There was timely hitting, 2 out run production, and some power shown with Pence’s 2 run homerun in the first inning. It was a huge confidence boost for an offense that looked sluggish and out of sorts as of late with most regulars getting some rest. Defensively, there were no errors and Roy Halladay did what Roy Halladay does best. He was a strike-throwing machine with almost no flaws. He left after 6 innings with only four hits allowed and a shutout still in tact, but Charlie wanted to rest him up for next Saturday. The only thing that was troubling from this game was the bullpen. Worley came in and gave up a run in the 8^th, but Bastardo seemed to come unraveled again, giving up 3 runs in the 7^th. Other than that, it is a pheel good day for the Phillies who hopefully let the Braves sweep them so we can avoid the hoT hOt Hot Cardinals in the first round (We are not kidding).

Eagles 16 Giants 29

"I thought I remembered you guys making some kind of upgrade in the offseason? Must have been mistaken."

This game was awful in more ways than one. Not only did our defense look absolutely atrocious the entire second half and first quarter, but we have more injuries that can do nothing but hurt us moving forward. First, the injuries that are incredibly significant are (obviously) Michael Vick’s broken right hand and Jeremy Maclin’s hurt hamstring. Vick may be done for a couple weeks, which could lead us to a Vince Young/Mike Kafka competition for #1 this week. That could be interesting to see who starts and if we can win with all that talent, but a B lister at quarterback. The severity of Maclin’s injury is not known as of yet, and even though he is an important part of our offense, we can survive without our second number 1 receiver. Now, to the pathetic game by the defense and offense overall. First, the offense was actually pretty effective most of the game, and only looked hindered when Vick got hurt and had to leave the game. The only thing we have to rip on them for is the pitiful short yardage situations. It was something that appeared to have been corrected as of late, but after a performance on the goal line that would have made Reggie White roll over in his grave, fans were left scratching their heads. The inability of the line and the running game to take advantage of those situations will kill a team’s entire season in the long run. The defense, where can we even begin? The linebackers are such a joke that it is hard to put a finger on whether or not they were worse against the run or the pass. Chaney is a better MLB than Matthews, but Matthews still seemed to be a liability on the outside. One prime example is when he looked lost in coverage on the 40 yard passing TD to Brandon Jacobs in the first. Aside from this, the defense needs to learn how to tackle. Due to a lack of tackling, they made VICTOR CRUZ look like an All-Star and helped Bradshaw extended numerous drives in the game. With all the money spent on the defensive side of the ball, the LBs should have been addressed. The thought that strengthening every other position would help hide the weakness at linebacker obviously didn’t work out. This needs to be corrected or else this season is going to be just as bad as these last two weeks have gone.

Philadelphia is still winning.

In the grand scheme of things, we will still unfortunately give New York the win overall seeing as the Mets still took two of three from the Phillies this weekend and the Giants game was a huge surprise. In a 16 game season, a loss to a division rival is far more devastating than a late September win over a terrible opponent in a 162 game season. Even though New York won this battle, by our records, Philadelphia is still dominating in the war about 1,000,000 to 1 so they can go back to sucking their thumbs at night and dreaming of one day being as great as the city of Brotherly Love.

Change of Plans: Battle of the Bands at CBP tonight

Tonight at the Battle of the Bands:

Chase Utley and the Underdogs

"1, 2 Mic checkkkkkkk."

VS.

The DiamondHacks

We're not clever... 

In case you missed the numerous reports, the lineup for the Phils tonight should be interesting to watch. Howard is out due to what he is calling a "hand strain", Victorino started serving his two game suspension that shouldn't have happened, Ruiz is out due to "bruised testicles", and as usual Polanco is still out due to his sports hernia. All of these injuries at once leaves us three real mainstays Pence, Rollins, and Utley. I had to make Utley the lead man of the band of the three for obvious reasons. Rollins is still good, but not the leader like Chase, and Pence you may ask? Have you seen Pence throw? Have you seen Pence swing? Have you seen Pence run? Exactly, he gets the job done, but look at those three examples as to how awkward he is. Plus, he just makes us laugh way too much to make him the cover band. This motley crew will be facing a 15-3 pitcher Ian Kennedy who last time out versus the Phightins threw a complete game shutout with 10 strikeouts. Soooo.... obviously it should be an adventure. Without any further blabbering... heres the lineup for tonight:

1. Jimmy Rollins, SS

2. John Mayberry Jr, CF

3. Chase Utley, 2B

4. Hunter Pence, RF

5. Raul Ibanez, LF

6. Ross Gload, 1B

7. Brian Schneider, C

8. Wilson Valdez, 3B

9. Vance Worley, P Complete Animal

ENJOY!

Remember When...?

I’m hoping that ‘Remember when…?’ catches on as a new weekly post, but in all fairness it probably won’t, so just enjoy this one.

Remember when about two weeks ago everyone was whining about the Phillies’ offense and crying that they weren’t really good?

-I remember, and it was completely ridiculous. (just being honest…)

OK. First thing is first. Hunter Pence is a great addition to the offense, and yes, the offense went from 4.3 runs/game before his arrival to 5.5 runs/ game since he’s been a Phillie. We’re also 6-0 in that span. None of us are complaining about that. Let’s be fair though – it has literally been only 6 games since we’ve acquired him and this small sample size has made everyone and anyone that was complaining shut their mouths. That doesn’t make any sense.

Does everyone also remember the fact that prior to Pence’s arrival the Phillies were…

Oh yeah, THEY WERE 64-39! I’m not totally sure, but the last time I checked being 25 games over .500 wasn’t a bad thing…?

Ryan Howard was quoted on TV a few weeks ago saying the offense ‘scored enough runs to win games.’ He was completely right. The offense, no matter how bad you want to make it out to be, was still good enough to win 25 more games than it had lost. It all really boils down to the fact that we just enjoy (as a city) picking on a team to try and get perfection. I love the city for being die hard and gritty and it’s a great thought, but perfection is never going to happen.

Another case.

Jimmy Rollins goofs up and doesn’t run out a ball that he misjudged on a game against the Rockies this week. What happens for the next two days on Philadelphia radio shows and TV broadcasts? We all trash-talk him. Jimmy has been with the Phils through good times and especially through bad ones for too many years to count. In fact, let’s count. He has been wearing red pinstripes for 1601 games. He’s not perfect, but the guy has been busting his backside for us for too long. Give him a break. He said he made a mistake. Came Clean. Let’s just get over it.

Now, we’ll be the first to admit that when someone screws up – we love screaming at the TV. Everyone that has ever met us can attest to that. Nothing makes us happier. But with the Phils, we have the Blue-Chip Dream Team. This whole squad is just a good group of guys that have fun, put their heads down, get to work, and love playing the game. Instead of whining about the little inadequacies, sit back and enjoy the show. It’s not going to last forever…

Oh, and don’t forget, baseball is the only job in the world where you can succeed 30% of the time and be a complete rock star...  So, perfection is clearly not everything here.

Breaking News: Hunter Pence so good, he tries to make things easier for opposing pitchers.

"No, no, no, really, I want you to pitch. I like a challenge. Plus, you suck."

As you may have seen, Hunter Pence was so anxious to go up to the plate last night in Colorado that he “forgot” to take the doughnut off his bat before stepping to the plate. And by that, I of course mean that he felt bad for the ass he was about to face (PS I know it is hard to believe but I did NOT doctor that photo, Rex Brothers just looks THAT retarded). Since his teammates would not let him even the playing field with the doughnut, Pence graciously popped out to shortstop as a good faith gesture.  As you can see, he is not only an amazing baseball player, but also a humanitarian to say the least. Aside from the kind actions of Hunter Pence, lets see how the numbers stack up as of right now:

Since acquisition from Houston:

4 for 16 (including the first two at bats of tonight’s game) really 5 for 16 if Angel Hernandez wasn’t checking out the half naked guy in the bleachers during Pence’s first at bat. .250 BA with 2 doubles, 2 RBIs, and 1 walk. Not incredibly impressive, but solid numbers overall for a small sample size. Lets look at possible ripple effects for Hunter though.

Howard’s stats since acquisition of Pence:

6 for 16 (including the first two at bats of tonight’s game) .375 BA with 3 doubles, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs and 1 walk.

Overall offense:

Averaging 6.6 runs per game with Hunter in the lineup. As opposed to 5.14 runs per game the 7 games prior to the acquisition.

Not just pure numbers alone, but he is also a great clubhouse guy as it appears so far. He fits the hustle and grit of this team well, and continues to do amazing things. Just like telling Sarge post game, “Let’s Eat,” (That is only amazing, because, as you can tell by the name of the blog, we think everything Sarge says or is involved with is a pure miracle of life) and hustling on every play.

Now with such a small sample size, it’s hard to tell, but as of right now the numbers are slightly better with him in the lineup. Only time will tell as usual, but hopefully if this continues, we’ll see a World Series hoist at the end of the season. And as a great man once said, we will once again be "World Fucking Champions".