Dear Philadelphia,
It is I, your once beloved, and often talked about, General Manager Ruben Amaro Junior. I have been with all of you for a while now, from
highly touted prospect to major league stud to assistant GM and protégé of the
Legend Pat Gillick. And here we are now. Where are we now you may ask? That’s a
good question.
Up until about 2 weeks ago, I thought I was the toast of the
city. I am the man who brought you almost everything that you people could have
ever wanted.
You wanted the surgeon from Canada, and I brought you the
man they call “Doc”.
You wanted the fun loving Cleveland kid with an attitude of
gold, and I gave you Clifton Phifer.
“Oh no! We need more offense!” Boom, I give you the kid who
loves post game eats, Hunter Pence.
The gap between Jimmy and I was not only between his teeth,
but also between money and years of a contract. Yet, I closed the gap not only
between his teeth (Liquid concrete did the trick), but also got the deal done.
Fast forward about 6 months, and we have our current state.
You all look at me like some high school boy who wouldn’t know the difference
between a 5 year, $40 million deal, and one of those damn Algebra problems
about which train is going to get to some fictional stop before the other one
does.
Well, I have some news for you. Not only do I know how to
make the big deal, but I know how to answer that idiotic Algebra problem too.
The answer: I don’t give a shit which train gets their first, because they are
both going to Philadelphia and they both have some high price talent that I
bring in while staying under the luxury tax.
You can all be mad at me as much as you want, but quite
frankly, I don’t care. All I have done is what you ask and now, I can’t foresee
lingering injuries to our major stars, and I am a pariah? I know I should be
Ms. Cleo, but because I refuse to wear that awful psychic wrap on my head, I
can’t see into the future. I mean with this hair would you wear anything on
your head?
I put together an amazing bench behind our cast of talent
that included some major power and some good matchup type hitters. Also, I
brought in some good competition, which Charlie and I always believe drives
performance. Injuries are one of those things that no one can predict, and even
if I could, I have no more minor league pieces to trade. If you want to know
why, see above. Also, because Big Bill Giles is riding me to make sure I don’t
go over the luxury tax, I couldn’t sign anybody worthwhile in free agency
anyway.
All I have to say to all of you Philadelphia is take a pill
or start watching the Sixers, the bar is set much lower there. I have done all
I can to help improve this club and it is just Spring Training, we haven’t even
given this team a chance yet. We still have 3 starting pitchers who are capable
of compiling 60+ wins, and then add in the solid 15 wins Joe Blanton is going
to get us, and we are already right there (I know what you are thinking and
yes, I am kidding about the Blanton total, I actually expect 20 wins from him
also). The offense may not be the dynamo it has been in the past, but if Jimmy
and Shane stay healthy, there is no reason we can’t produce enough runs to get
the wins we need. And don’t forget, I am the magic man at the trade deadline so
it is completely possible I can add one more piece at the end depending on what
we need.
Before you start throwing beer on my car and calling for my
head, remember I still have done more than any other GM has done for this team
in years (unless you count Ed Wade as a member of the Astros). Be a fan, don’t
be a critic, and trust in the lineup that we have. In time, all wounds will
heal and if we can stay competitive until everyone comes back, we will be fine
for the playoffs. We have a target on our back for a reason, we are still
number ones in everyone’s’ minds.
If you don’t like what I am saying, go to CBP South and stay
there.
Love always,
Ruben Amaro Jr.
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