Below you’ll read our free-flowing thoughts from the Eagles’
game… These are the ups and downs that everyone reading this blog probably
felt. If this brings on any type of post-traumatic stress disorder, we
apologize…
1:05 PM: Because of time mismanagement on our part, we miss
the kickoff due to videogame time. We assume it looks just like any other kickoff
so we’re not too worried. We’re sure that someone kicked the ball and someone
else knelt down in the endzone to cap off the play (just like every other
kickoff in the NFL now).
1:07 PM: Billick claims ‘We are already seeing some sort of
a plan from Andy Reid and the Philadelphia Eagles… (Referring to the offense)’
WE HOPE EVERYONE HEARD THAT… If Billick thinks there is a game plan, then maybe
everyone won’t whine on Monday about Andy’s lack of preparation…
1:12 PM: After a challenge that wasn’t necessary because
there is no way Avant was actually far enough for a first down, Andy decides to
go for it on 4th and 1… Yikes… But they roll Vick out just like
everyone has been asking Mornhinweg for in the past 4 weeks and we come up with
it… phew.
1:13PM: Excitement replaced with disbelief (or belief, in
our case) as Vick throws a pick to a very lucky Buffalo Bill that will
undoubtedly ask Vick to autograph it after the game, and he’ll hang it in his
basement.
1:18 PM: As Darryl Tapp can’t catch up to Fred Jackson on a
run around the end, we make it known to everyone in our living room that he’s
great anyway because he went to Virginia Tech (our dad is not pleased with that
comment)
1:22 PM: 5 yard TD run for Fred Jackson… As that happens, we
continue to wish that we could just pick up any RB that plays the Eagles’
defense each week for our fantasy leagues… Lots of points to be had… Lots…
1:25 PM: On a quality replay from Brian Billick of the TD
run, we finally see who (Jarrad Page) took a bad angle to miss a one-on-one
tackle on Fred Jackson… Wait, Page missed a tackle? That seems odd… He’s usually
so good at those…
1:34PM: Stevie Johnson with a catch for a 1st
down on 3rd and long… How are we not covering the only Bills‘ receiver
that anyone’s heard of?
1:48PM: Billick is really harping on the fact that Vick is
limping noticeably after he gets hit and ‘fumbles’… He clearly doesn’t watch
all of our games because Vick does this every week… Relax, Brian.
1:49PM: AND WE GET A ROUGHING THE PASSER CALL ON A BUSTED 3rd
DOWN PLAY! GENIUS JOB BY MORNHINWEG TO CALL A PLAY THAT WILL DEFINITELY END IN
A PERSONAL FOUL!
1:52 PM: Eagles get on the board with a short yardage TD
pass from Michael to Jeremy… The entire city breathes a big sigh of relief all
at once… You can actually feel it if you’re anywhere in the Tri-State area.
1:57PM: Billick tries to place a bet on air for a whopping
$5… If he were going to put up more money, we’d get in on that action.
Although, Billick seems like he’d really come after you for failing to pay…
2:00 PM: Billick says Fred Jackson is ‘beautiful to watch’…
I’m getting concerned that he’s been hitting the firewater before the games…
Poor coach.
2:13 PM: Chas Henry comes out for a less-than-spectacular
punt… We want to be mad, but he doesn’t get the chance to practice very often
considering we don’t normally punt… we just turn the ball over BEFORE 4th
down… You’re forgiven, Chas.
2:30 PM: We plead with the defense for an interception for a
TD… We have got to be due for something…
2:31 PM: Ryan Fitzpatrick obliges! We’ve got to be psychic!
2:35 PM: The Eagles line up for a pass play with :08 seconds
left in the half. We’re shocked. Are they kidding? We’re giant Reid advocates,
but this is incredibly questionable. Annnnnnnnnd…. We miss out on 3 points…
Assuming Henery could actually kick a ball that far…
2:36 PM: Half Time. Starting to wonder how much longer to
wait before we can give up and go for a run…
3:04 PM: Realize that we were away from the TV for too long
and turn it on… not much time has passed and yet the Bills have tacked on 7
more points… We are in no way surprised.
3:05 PM: Roger Goodell comes on to talk about Al Davis and
memorials that they are planning for him… Our thought is that if they just wait
for this game to finish, they can start coming up with designs for patches that
commemorate the end of the Eagles’ season for all of the other 31 teams to
wear…
Footnote: Eagles score while we’re putting this post
together, but we’re not getting our hopes up… yet.
3:11 PM: Brian Wilson Taco Bell commercial comes on and
everyone in Philadelphia becomes nauseous. It could be because of Brian, could
be because of Taco Bell – but it’s likely still from the Eagles’ game.
3:17 PM: Darryl Tapp gets pressure on Fitzpatrick (finally!)
to end a drive. We told you, dad.
3:19 PM: Jason Avant (with a very impressive fumble) proves
that only the Eagles could infuriate us to the point of actually exploding.
3:40 PM: A lot has happened. The biggest thing is that the
Eagles finally decided to pressure Fitzpatrick. It works – who knew?
3:45 PM: Billick and Rosen have been asking for the Eagles
to get a holding call for 5 minutes and it kind of works (hands to the face is
call on Danny Watkins) because a TD run by Vick gets called back… We needed
that like we needed a hole in the head.
3:46 PM: King Dunlap gets called for a holding. Now Billick
and Rosen must be really proud of themselves (Eagles are now about 60 yards
away from the endzone because of penalties).
3:49 PM: We find out that although it didn’t look like it
last week against the 49ers, Alex Henery is perfectly capable of hitting a
short field goal… Thank you, sir.
3:52 PM: Holding call on Buffalo on the drive immediately
following the Eagles’ field goal! Take that, Rosen and Billick!
3:56 PM: HUGE THIRD DOWN STOP FROM NATE ALLEN ON ANOTHER
CROSSING PATTERN! WE TACKLED! WOW! Hopefully the rest of the Eagles’ secondary
was diligently taking notes…
4:02 PM: Jason Avant catches another ball for his career
high 9th reception for 139 yards… Roseman’s phone is already ringing
off the hook with other GMs offering the likes of Andre Johnson, Calvin
Johnson, and Randy Moss for him… ‘No thanks, Jason is kind of a big deal in
Philadelphia,’ says Howie. (He’s holding out for another cornerback… great
general managing.)
4:06 PM: With the quickest turnaround in the history of the
world, Jason Avant loses the ball again (it should in no way be called an
interception by the way) and has every GM hanging up on Howie who is now
looking for at least a towel rack for the Eagles’ receiver.
4:10 PM: Everyone in the world knows that the Bills just
want to draw the Eagles offisdes and have no desire to actually go for it on 4th
down. Too bad says Juqua Parker. ‘You don’t want the 1st down? Well,
we’re going to give it to you.’
Side note: This is a fantastic job of reverse psychology by
Chan Gailey on our defensive linemen.
4:15 PM: The game ends and Philadelphia reverts back to its
former self prior to the Phillies actually winning a championship.
The city is plagued in ways that no other
hobby or catastrophe could – only sports.
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