In-Game Twinsights

If you’re not watching the Phillies game right now, we beg of you…

TURN IT ON.

Forget that the score is 8-0 and we’re cruising. The boys right now are playing with energy, tenacity, and a little bit of straight ANGER.

We all hated to see that bush league loss yesterday but maybe it left the little sour taste in the mouths of the Phils that we needed to fire us up for tonight.

Things to watch:

Shane is back to playing the way he usually does versus the Bravados. He’s running everywhere for the ball in center, getting great at-bats, getting big hits, and even trying to get creative with his base running to go for a double steal.

Chooch is so fiery that whether or not the umpire is calling the third strike, he has been sprinting away from home plate as soon as he thinks it is. Multiple times in the game now, he has had to come back to finish catching an at-bat because he thought it was strike three so he took off for the dugout.

Utley threw in one of his trademark glove flips to first on a close play (We’re Lovin’ It.)

Howard (still struggling a bit running the bases from just being beat up) is making ballerina-like dives in foul territory for balls. (Oh and don't forget the mammoth long ball he just hit - Wow, Mr. Big Piece)

The Boys are cookin’ – just sit back and soak it all in – we’re getting the Phils’ version of September baseball.

Funny detail from the game today: During one of Wheelers' senseless rants today about who knows what, something funny popped up on the bottom of the screen.

L- Wheeler (2-2)

Now this was obviously speaking of Dan Wheeler, the relief pitcher for the Red Sox, but this automatically made us think about how Wheels loses in the hearts and minds of Phillies fans on a daily basis with his awful stories and repetitive unfunny sayings. In our record books, he is more like (2-1008).

Change of Plans: Battle of the Bands at CBP tonight

Tonight at the Battle of the Bands:

Chase Utley and the Underdogs

"1, 2 Mic checkkkkkkk."

VS.

The DiamondHacks

We're not clever... 

In case you missed the numerous reports, the lineup for the Phils tonight should be interesting to watch. Howard is out due to what he is calling a "hand strain", Victorino started serving his two game suspension that shouldn't have happened, Ruiz is out due to "bruised testicles", and as usual Polanco is still out due to his sports hernia. All of these injuries at once leaves us three real mainstays Pence, Rollins, and Utley. I had to make Utley the lead man of the band of the three for obvious reasons. Rollins is still good, but not the leader like Chase, and Pence you may ask? Have you seen Pence throw? Have you seen Pence swing? Have you seen Pence run? Exactly, he gets the job done, but look at those three examples as to how awkward he is. Plus, he just makes us laugh way too much to make him the cover band. This motley crew will be facing a 15-3 pitcher Ian Kennedy who last time out versus the Phightins threw a complete game shutout with 10 strikeouts. Soooo.... obviously it should be an adventure. Without any further blabbering... heres the lineup for tonight:

1. Jimmy Rollins, SS

2. John Mayberry Jr, CF

3. Chase Utley, 2B

4. Hunter Pence, RF

5. Raul Ibanez, LF

6. Ross Gload, 1B

7. Brian Schneider, C

8. Wilson Valdez, 3B

9. Vance Worley, P Complete Animal

ENJOY!

Chase Utley is to Citi Field as (Blank) is to Chavez Ravine...

Don't worry I promise the answer to the blank is not this loser.

Okay, so for those of you who don’t know what that title is… its from third grade grammar and its called an analogy. First, lets break the concept of analogy down a little bit for our slower readers. An analogy compares to things that are very much alike in an easy and explainable way for all. So, in order to fill in the blank for the title of the story, we have to determine what the first part means and then find a comparable counterpart. Chase Utley dominates Citi Field in such a way that not only is he hated there immensely, but he has his own corner as many locals and Phillies fans alike will call “Utley’s Corner”. That is obviously the right field porch where Utley destroys the likes of Johan Santana (When hes not in jail or on the DL), Francisco Rodriguez (When he was still with the team and when he wasn’t in jail), and finally Mike Pelfrey (This says it all, no joke needed). Utley’s numbers may not be the most gleaming there, but its about the intangibles that he has brought to that ballpark in New York in general, whether it was big hits or just big plays.

Now that we have broken down the first part of the analogy, we have to use these clues to place a name in the blank of an individual who has huge games, huge plays, and huge at bats in Dodgers Stadium. If we look at stats, we do see one name that sticks out. He is batting a solid .314 with 2 doubles 2 three baggers and 3 homeruns. As we look further into it, we see this player has had some memorable moments there in the past. Whether it was when he wouldn’t stand down versus the likes of that Poor Man's Bruce Chen as he threw a fastball right over his head or hitting a huge homerun in Game 4 of the LCS to tie the game in the 8^th inning, he always seems to be in the thick of things in Los Angeles. I mean, if it wasn’t for him, the likes of Matt Stairs’ Moonshot, may not have ever happened or even have been possible. The fans at Chavez Ravine even love him so much that they Boo him whenever he approaches the plate, which is a sign of flattery for the All-Star outfielder. Although, it doesn’t bother him much. I mean, who would be bothered by 45 people booing you between the 3^rd and 6^th inning anyway?

"Yes guys, its me, Im the answer. Don't be so stupid."

So after all of our deductive reasoning we have come to the legitimate and worthy answer: Shane Victorino. We knew you would get there on your own, but we figured we’d throw it out there anyway. The man has established himself not only as a hero to Phillie fans, but also a villain to Dodgers fans, which is what really makes a player special. Becoming a villain in an away ballpark is the sincerest form of respect from an opposing fan base. And if that is the case, keep booing Los Angeles, in fact, we hope every fan base in every city boos the Phillies for the next 5 years. Because that means that we are respected, feared, and hated for our winning ways. Keep it going, Shane, and all the Phillies for that matter, so that we can see more analogies like this:

Chase Utley is to Citi Field as Shane Victorino is to Chavez Ravine as the Philadelphia Phillies are to Major League Baseball.

Breaking News: Hunter Pence so good, he tries to make things easier for opposing pitchers.

"No, no, no, really, I want you to pitch. I like a challenge. Plus, you suck."

As you may have seen, Hunter Pence was so anxious to go up to the plate last night in Colorado that he “forgot” to take the doughnut off his bat before stepping to the plate. And by that, I of course mean that he felt bad for the ass he was about to face (PS I know it is hard to believe but I did NOT doctor that photo, Rex Brothers just looks THAT retarded). Since his teammates would not let him even the playing field with the doughnut, Pence graciously popped out to shortstop as a good faith gesture.  As you can see, he is not only an amazing baseball player, but also a humanitarian to say the least. Aside from the kind actions of Hunter Pence, lets see how the numbers stack up as of right now:

Since acquisition from Houston:

4 for 16 (including the first two at bats of tonight’s game) really 5 for 16 if Angel Hernandez wasn’t checking out the half naked guy in the bleachers during Pence’s first at bat. .250 BA with 2 doubles, 2 RBIs, and 1 walk. Not incredibly impressive, but solid numbers overall for a small sample size. Lets look at possible ripple effects for Hunter though.

Howard’s stats since acquisition of Pence:

6 for 16 (including the first two at bats of tonight’s game) .375 BA with 3 doubles, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs and 1 walk.

Overall offense:

Averaging 6.6 runs per game with Hunter in the lineup. As opposed to 5.14 runs per game the 7 games prior to the acquisition.

Not just pure numbers alone, but he is also a great clubhouse guy as it appears so far. He fits the hustle and grit of this team well, and continues to do amazing things. Just like telling Sarge post game, “Let’s Eat,” (That is only amazing, because, as you can tell by the name of the blog, we think everything Sarge says or is involved with is a pure miracle of life) and hustling on every play.

Now with such a small sample size, it’s hard to tell, but as of right now the numbers are slightly better with him in the lineup. Only time will tell as usual, but hopefully if this continues, we’ll see a World Series hoist at the end of the season. And as a great man once said, we will once again be "World Fucking Champions".